Life is a struggle

Chinese new year is finally over, gotta pack up my mood and back to work. Everything should be back to normal. Its great to have a whole week break, relax and rest at home. The time is definitely enjoyable, and that exactly made life tougher when it gets back to real life.

During the chinese New year, the opportunity to meet up with all old friends is definitely the best part of it. Most people have started working and the common topics have changed since university time. During the university time, some might complain about work, some complain about FYP, some about projects or internships. But now its all about work, money, investment, and such.

One thing so obvious is that all of us have started worrying about money and nolonger free like before. All of us are thinking or finding ways to increase our $ or earn more $ or side income. This is the time when life hits!
People start considering about all sorts of options of making money including saving plans and shares or unit trust or all sorts. calculating expenses and comparing salaries/benefits.

Today i heard there is another colleague who have just resigned. probably he got a better job somewhereelse or maybe its just that he is so fedup with the current job. Whatever it is, everyone keeps looking for better opportunities. hoping one day, we live a better life, being able to give more to people we love, in terms of time and money or quality of life.

To everyone who is struggling out there. You are not alone.

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updates

Been another long time since i last updated my blog, once again i manage to convince myself to update it before i go home for chinese new year celebration. of course this update will be a continuation of whats been happening i guess.

Ever since my last post in July, i have landed myself a job. As a sales and application engineer. Its basically a half engineer half sales job, where i have to meet some customer to understand their requirement and try to recommend product which can solve the problem. Its sort of a technical sales position. But when i first join the company in August, its actually a singapore based company where the founder/CEO is a msian/singaporean but recently it got acquired by an US MNC. Well, not exactly recently but last year around november/december. Its been almost 2-3 months after the acquisition, many have been said to be changed but has yet to be implemented. I guess most of the time change is slow and especially when it involves MNC. Lots of red tapes, essentially our name has changed but nothing else. Not our salary, not much of the management, not much of the structure. But according to the news, management/structure will experience some changes soon. Hopefully the salary side comes sooner.

Besides work, i have been interested in finding out more about passive income in recent days. More and more people are aware about passive income these days and everyone is looking for it. but what is the correct way? what is the most effective way? is there a specific and easy to produce way? of course i dont have much idea.

Other than that, its going to be chinese new year soon, will be back home for a week or so. Hope to enjoy my new year and come back energized, so that i dont have to drag myself to work anymore. :D

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not a good feeling

I have been going for all sorts of interview recently. Some interesting, some not so. But after every interview, there are usually 2 results.

One is you feel that you have done reasonably well in the interview and you probably stand a good chance of getting a job, expecting a call from the company, and end up super disappointed and dont understand why.

Second is you feel like you have been punched on the face, the punch is fierce and hard, straight on your face, probably around your nose area, you cant breath much and been hit to the ground. That feeling sucks, it is like you have been through so many years of dont know what. You go through a reflection feeling that you have just wasted your past 20 over years and suddenly you found yourself in the middle of no where, standing all alone, have no idea how to go. It takes awhile before you can regain consciousness and start figuring out where you are.

I dont like either of them, but probably everytime you got hit, it shows that you are not doing well enough.

Lost. again.

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think think...think carefully

its a weird feeling. I have graduated. Have been applying to all sorts of jobs and unsure of what i really want.

Sometimes i just feel like im not ready to get into a career. I havent identified what i would enjoy doing for the rest of my life, and sometimes felt like i needed more time to do more soul searching. Im at a stage where im not sure of what is happening to my life and im unsure of what to do...perhaps i need some extra experience to gather my thoughts and understand myself better.

One way of thinking it is i am not sure and i needed more time, more freedom to experience and explore something worth the rest of my life. That i believe require alot of try and error and reflection, but i dont know whats stopping me. maybe its peer pressure? everyone of the same age have found a job and is working and are living independent life. Maybe its financial pressure ? that i have a huge amount of outstanding loan to repay. maybe its just life pressure that i feel like i should be working at this stage, after so many years of education.

Another way of thinking it is that there are no such thing as perfect job or a job that you enjoy. it only exists for super small percentage of human beings and most of them are people who have been super uber successful in their career, they quit their career and startup a new business which they heart and see opportunity in.

talking about the i needed more time to explore and stuff like that. I felt that one thing education failed to do to me, or at least i wished education or someone have taught me that it is important to do soul searching and know yourself, life is too short and the years in ur education are the only times where you can afford to spend time and look into yourself. I failed to do that in the past i dont know how many years. Education has successfully driven knowledge and skills perhaps into our mind but have failed to help and assist us in looking for our true self. At least i think my education has not achieved that purpose. Perhaps it is set that way, customized to feed in skills and knowledge to grow the economy of a country or region. that explains why people have so little sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life and only worked for money and perhaps a career that is not too taxing. im not sure if im going too far away but at the moment i felt like there is a need to understand myself and understand my purpose, else i wont find any job interesting or meaningful. at the same time i feel like i dont have the luxury to find that out.

Probably i should just end up like everybody else, be a product of an education factory, work hard in life, get some money and there goes another normal story.

dont worry if you dont understand what i have written. I dont either. I wished I do. But no, i dont.

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Enjoy your job

Only if we believe that there is no such thing as a perfect job waiting for us somewhere, then only we will stop looking out and start appreciate and enjoy what we have.

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